Here are four types of anxiety traps, which are correlated with each other:
- No deep thought about the question: What kind of life do I want to have? Without the answer, I may just follow what others tell me. I can only confirm my values by entering the second trap, and my life would fall into the third trap.
- Comparing myself with others — He has published 3 papers but I have none; she got an offer from a top company but I have none; they have…but I have none. My energy is distracted from my own life to others. As a result, my questions are unaddressed and my anxiety accumulates, which leads me to the fourth trap.
- No motivation to do hard things first — it’s impossible to make progress without failure, reflection, and hard work. All of them require large amounts of mental work. If I do not really want that progress, why do I need to do that mental work? Without work, I may fall into the fourth trap.
- The fears of the future — Can I get my Ph.D.? Can I have enough publications? Can I get a job? Can I…
The first trap is the root of the rest three traps. However, it might be the hardest one to get rid of, because it requires me to face my real self.
